Magna Carta Holy Grail sucks. It’s worth mentioning that it doesn’t suck in the Kanye’s-deal-with-the-devil-must-have-run-out way that Yeezus sucks. MCHG sucks the way that getting old probably sucks. I’m still a young stunna so I can’t be certain but I’m assuming.
Basically every song not named “F*ckWithMeYouKnowIGotIt” serves as only a depressing reminder that Hov’s about ten years past his prime. The album is lazy and boring and exactly what you would expect from a 43 year old mogul who spends his days diversifying his empire, which is depressing, because I guess I always hoped Jay was better than the rest of us (not me obvi, but everyone else). I know what you’re saying: didn’t you listen to Kingdom Come and The Blueprint III? Yeah I did, and they were dumptrucks too. But Watch The Throne gave the world hope. That album made me believe that Jay-Z wouldn’t waste his time putting out a sub-par album. It turns out he would. MCHG is the symbol of Jay’s mortality, and even he knows it. Point to any other time in his bravado laced career that he would have made the lame decision to guarantee an album platinum status like he did with his Samsung app deal. The swagger is gone. Maybe not from the man, but from his music.
One final thought: did everyone hear that he officially dropped the hyphen from his famous moniker? Weak ass move. Like a tired restaurant changing its name to spice things up. Plus, does he know how much iTunes work that’s gonna be? How you gonna jock me like that dawg.