Month: March 2015

Spinning Out of Control

I’ve decided to start blogging again. Something about graduating in a little over 2 months has made me realize that I only have a few more months of freedom and I should probably take advantage of it. I also heard some Mark Twain quote today in my environmental studies class: “Never let school get in the way of your education.” I got super carpe diem. Then I thought, well you aren’t taking any challenging courses this term, so I should probably enhance myself outside of the few hours that I am in the classroom.

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I love Soul Cycle, but unfortunately trapped in a place called Lexington, VA, my options are limited to Professor and Student taught classes. Think spotify and low budget bikes. I have slowly grown to love the cycling classes, regardless of the conditions. My best friend and I decided that it would be “fun” to go ot spin at 6:30 AM three times a week. I acknowledge that it is borderline sociopathic, but whatever. So, the professor who teaches spin in the morning is a really funny, outgoing, business professor. This professor loves Katy Perry, singing out loud, and trying to convince the freshmen in the class to take his classes and become business majors. This professor also has the most energy I’ve seen anyone have this early in the morning besides a six year old, it’s kind of annoying when all I want to do is be back in my warm bed. Regardless of all of this, I love the class and enjoy the professor’s company for 45 minutes in the crack of dawn. Fortunately and unfortunately, the instructor “had” to go to a conference in Hawaii this week and asked me to teach his class this morning and tomorrow morning. At first I was really jacked up and then I realized how nervous I was, either way I agreed to do it, so I had to sit in the front of the room and direct the “students.” (By the way, these students were the same ten people that come to the classes every week plus a few friends who I forced to come). Long story short, being on the other side of the classroom gave me a little insight into the different type of people who attend these classes. This isn’t limited to the psychos who go at 6:30 am. Some of these are straight out of a suburban Soul Cycle class too.

Competitive Psycho: She’ll out peddle you any day of the week. She is constantly looking out of the corner of her eye to make sure she is at least 20 RPM faster than you. This competitive bitch should probably be doing yoga to take the stick out of her ass, but instead she is harshing the mellow of the entire room with every turn of resistance.

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Weight-loss champion: You Go Girl! You might still be 45 lbs over weight, but hey, we all saw where you started and are proud. We are still afraid that you might pass out during every sprint, but you don’t and we respect that.

Lance Armstrong: You wear the gear, you clip in when no one else is. You cheer as you sprint away. You are way too enthusiastic about this class. You create the illusion that you are the most experienced rider in the class. Your speed is unparalleled. You kind of intimidate all of us, but no one knows that you just pretend to turn your resistance up.

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Now that’s a chach

The Back Row Bitch: “Mind your own business” is exactly what she wants to say when you smile at her and think you’re friends because you’re riding next to eachother. This spinner gal is just tryna sweat and move on with her day. She’s not there to make friends, she’s not there to enjoy herself, she is there to work out and get out.

Front-row Rockstar: Or at least in their own minds. In my opinion, regular spin classes are very welcoming and open to whoever in the front row, as long as they basically follow the instructions of class and don’t distract those around them. Soul Cycle is different. If you aren’t coordinated, choreographed, and flawless, move you’re a$$ back a row and settle in with the commoners.

Rushing 4ever: The second the last song ends, these ladies are sprinting out of the class. No cool down, no stretch. This makes me wonder. If you are free at 9:45 on a Monday to take a spin class, where the hell do you have to rush to at 10:40 so fast that you cannot even stretch out your quads? But seriously – I’m about to ask one of these “busy” women.

The dudes that show up: Why are you here? That is the first thought that all of the ladies in the club are thinking, but then something changes. Then the ladies all around are sweating more and working harder than they ever had. So thank you guys for pushing us ladies harder. We just want you to think we are super fit and take our fitness seriously…

Disclaimer: You probably won’t be judged like this at every spin class, just don’t be too obvious with your weird spin tendencies. Xx

SS

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