Month: May 2014

A little #tbt to our roots. What’s a chach anyways?

Here is one of our first posts. Chach may not be in our name, but it’s definitely a part of the game. Let’s get it….:

Let’s just be honest: this blog’s gonna blow up soon.  You’re in on the ground floor like Turtle with Avion.  This brings me to the purpose of my post here: you guys gotta get educated.  As the person who brought “chach” into the creator of this sites vocabulary, and also as her boyfriend, I was given the assignment of bringing you all up to speed. So let’s get to it.

A chach is a person who thinks they’ve got it all figured out, but their confidence-bordering-on-cockiness, along with their inability to generally “get” life, infuriates all rational friends and family members.  The second a chach walks into a room, you’re filled with second hand embarrassment and overcome by an intense hope that they don’t approach you. Their chachy behavior usually leads to a weird hatred. There is one thing that separates a chach from just your run of the mill gayball, though.  Chaches just have so much potential.  With just a few personality and habit tweaks, a chach could easily become the baller that he/she thinks he/she already is.  The never ending quest to convert a chach is really the only worthwhile reason to keep them around.  As I believe that emaciated weirdo Ghandi once said, “Force the change you want to see in a chach.”

Since you ADD monsters probably stopped reading and kicked it over to Temple Run 5 minutes ago, I’m gonna make this visual.

Image

Bringing it all the way back to Turtle’s boy Carlos.  This dude sucked.  Just let Cuban buy you out and take the money back to your favela chief.

Image

This guy from TMZ.  Hate him. Just be a normal middle aged dude and leave the black dude and surfer boy to creep on Justin Beiber.

Image

I’m sure you’ve all seen The Vow. Not gonna lie, I’m into it.  Not feeling Leo though.  Kind of the ultimate “do less” figure.  You’re Channing Tatum, stop being a weirdo.  I see you working in the studio, but last time you looked in the mirror I don’t think Timbaland was looking back at you. Your girl’s in a coma, give it some time and relax, creep.

Image

A-Rod. An obvious chach.  Guy pulls in almost $30 mil a year but is somehow the most uncool person ever.  You’re rich and Latino, don’t see that everyday so start taking advantage. Leave the bodybuilding chicks for Hulk Hogan. Also, if you’re gonna keep doing steroids, just own it and be a baller about it.  I’d respect you.

So there you have it. A chach is just a chach. So simple but so intricate. Get into it.

P.S. – Yeah, I’m probably a chach for writing this. Whatever.

ET

Which type of Snapchatter are you?

I feel inclined to comment on Snapchat today because- as most of you have probably seen- it came out with this chatting feature. Do less pretty much sums up how I feel about it. I cannot even get it to update or work- so once again I have a very strong opinion on something I know not much about. Snapchat is turning down billion dollar deals because it thinks its the next big thing– what they don’t realize is that they are a mode of communication for naked pictures and ugly faces.

imgres

I probably delete snapchat about once a month because I think I am too mature for it… and then I inevitably get FOMO and redownload it and bombard my contacts with stupid pictures of me and my “world.” Snapchat is an interesting thing, as its user base has quite the range of different intentions… ranging from innocent to uhh not so innocent.

You use snapchat as a mode of actual communication… You ask your friends what time you should all meet for dinner. You say hi. You say bye. It is a strange thing. Maybe you are looking to rack up the points? Keep cool people in you “Best Friends” or like just tryna get the message across with minimal effort. Hey, I don’t really knock it, except I’d rather just use iMessage like a normal person.

You use snapchat as a “guilt-free” way to send nudies… The problem is that most people sending nude pictures are like way too young and its creepy and gross for me to even think about. But really- there is no “guilt-free” nude picture, but this is probably as close as it gets. You probably learned quick that screenshots are possible… but if you only send it for 3 seconds it’s okay, right? Probably not- guys are capable of a lot more than you think. Also- if you “think he’s the one” you can probably just wait to show him your boobs in person…

They never look like this, trust me

They never look like this, trust me

You use snapchat to detail every event of your day… SNAP STORY UPDATE!!!! News flash- no one actually cares about snapchat stories, they only look at them so the little notification goes away. Also- if you are with a really cute dog or the sky is gorgeous, instagram it and at least get some like recognition. Just an idea. I don’t know. People know you are alive. People know you are still there. People aren’t answering your texts for a reason.

You exclusively use snapchat when you’re drunk… This might be the worst kind of person. I do admit to embarrassing snap stories when drunk- the kind that are SO bad that they are deleted ASAP rocky style in the AM. But like really- no one cares that you drink wine/beer/G&Ts. It is getting to the point in life when you actually are at the age when you can buy alcohol… News flash- it’s not only for the cool kids anymore. hehe

You use snapchat because you think your “ugly faces” are cute…. You and your friends are probably the most annoying people in the entire world. You probably think its funny when you screen shot them and put it on facebook. No one fucking cares. Like at all. Everyone is aware that they don’t look like a 10 (or 9,8,7….) all the time. I have a double chin LOL???

Don’t worry. Everyone has a little of each type of snapchatter in them. If you aren’t completely unaware you probably aren’t as hated as I may have made you feel…

 

SS