In order to complete my liberal arts education, it is required that I take a lab science. After taking AP bio in high school and deciding that science wasn’t my thing- I have been avoiding taking my lab science in college. This has caught up with me and I am currently enrolled in a 4-week Field Botany class. I have been in the class for just over a week now and I have learned 2 things- a million parts of the flower that I have no interest in knowing and that I absolutely hate nature.
Well like I’ve always known that I hate nature, but this really solidified this hatred. Walking in the woods dodging branches and poison ivy is probably on a list of the top things that I would never wanna do. But bigger picture- who actually would want to do that??
Nature is beautiful, don’t get me wrong. But that is what instagram is for, am I right?
Nature is full of bugs, mud, plants, and slimy things. Rocks are made to be tripped over. Plants are poisonous. Bugs bite. I will never forget the time that I thought it was a good idea to go to the river….. Those first 10 steps in the river were scarring. It was slimy AF. Who knows what kind of organisms live in it??! Ew.
The only nature that I tolerate is the ocean because who doesn’t like the ocean? Plus- the ocean isn’t real nature because it is everyone’s favorite place in the world.
So back to the real nitty gritty nasty nature. Avoid it at all costs. If you have to avoid poison ivy and getting scraped by thorns, then you should probably reevaluate your location and get back to your apartment in the city where nothing grows naturally.
Back to my roots- those southern bitches love to pretend to loooooove to get down and dirty in nature. Please- don’t dirty your deb ball dress.